When I was working as a software developer, there was never a moment of content. why? because I was struggling to give meaning to the work I did, I was craving the attention that I was used to during my academic years, and I was facing an identity crisis. I felt like I was one among millions of software engineers and couldn't find any uniqueness within me or my work. It is a very frustrating state to be and the worst part was that I couldn't find anyone around me who resonated with this feeling. Perhaps my ambitions were too high, or I couldn't accept the ordinariness of my situation. This was one of the major forces pushing me towards an MBA.
At the time, I wasn't mature enough, nor did I have clear goals or a defined direction in life. While I'm not completely sure of my path even now, I've begun to better understand my own thoughts. I believe a significant reason for my earlier confusion was that I was pursuing the wrong objectives. Growing up as a class topper in a small town made it easier to stand out, and I always believed I was destined for greatness. Back then, success meant becoming popular, wealthy, and powerful—feelings that, admittedly, haven't completely changed. However, I lacked a concrete plan on how to achieve these goals.
Engineering seemed like the default choice, a common trend in India, pursued without a clear vision of the future. I never really questioned why I wanted to be successful or what exactly I should be doing. My ambition was to have a career, not just a job—a distinction many fail to recognize. After investing six years in engineering, including two years preparing for the JEE and four years in a B.Tech program, I faced an identity crisis. I didn’t know what I was meant to do next. This uncertainty, coupled with my fear of career transition and frustration with my current path, as well as my impatience for success, made me deeply unsettled.
Perhaps what I needed most back then was to engage with like-minded individuals, seek clarity, and be more willing to take risks. Over the years, I've learned that genuine networking can open multiple avenues and provide much-needed clarity. Often, it's not a lack of aptitude or skills that holds you back, but rather a lack of direction or awareness of the opportunities available. I'm still on my journey to discover what's best for me and to find a meaningful direction for my life. As for my current state, that's a story for another blog post!
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